Il a des beaux papillions comme meme
Mood:  happy




(well he's got beautiful butterflies any how) ;)

Wednesday I went into town with Adriana and met up with Killan. He couldn't stay too long because he had work to do but we got to hang out for about 2 hours and I introduced him to my exchange friends.

there are more photos of us in my June Album. Not a lot... but some. :)

I think I've finally found someone to go with me to Venise... if only Rotary says its ok..**stress* Crosses fingers :S I highly doubt it which really sucks because I've already bought my tickets (!!)

This whole situation is really making me nervous. Here is the deal:

... actually I have two deals, but ok, continuing...

My first deal: My trip to Venise. The ticket is reserved for the 4th until the 5th of June. Humm that is what.... THIS SATURDAY!! ahhhh! How much did it cost? oh just over 150 EUROS!!!! =O First there was the problem of how we were getting to the airport by 5 in the morning, then Adriana's family said she couldn't go... then I found Yonas yesterday who said he'd love to go with me+ his host mom would buy the ticket for him + his mom would drive us to the airport at 5 in the morning! Wow sooo great! I love this woman!!! Then... my family tells me that I have to ask Dimitri... this is going to be a little more difficult. oh crap!

Second deal: the next time I talk to Dimitri, I also have to ask him when my Visa expires because I really want to stay here until the 11th of August. Infact, I've already gone ahead and bought the tickets because i figured if I waited any longer then thre wouldn't be any places left. J'en ai marree!! (I'm so tired of this) because every time I send an urgent e-mail, they people respond 3 weeks later! I can't just sit on my ass all the time waiting for them!! And I asked my counselor of Rotary (Dimitri) about my Visa + if it was d'accord (alright) with him and gueeeesse what... he stiiiiill hasn't responded yet. So last night I called him and he told me he was busy and that he'd call me back. Did he? non of coarse not! dahhh! My host mom explains to me.. well dimitri is a very busy person. Well thats great... maybe he shouldn't have chosen the roll of taking responsability of the inbound exchange students.

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Lori goes home today!! ahhhhh *stress* I know how much she wanted to stay... :( but Jack is 'estatic' about her return! (je suis fiere de toi, Jack) hes expanded his vocabulary since she left! :p!

tick tock tick tock tick tock
Mood:  rushed
Topic: My Party Scene
Bad tracy! BAD BAD BAD! I've not updated in so so long. woah.

Tripod greeted me today saying that 15 people went to my website just yesterday and 431 views this month. I think they are lying to me... :P

So whats new? I'm dating Killan again. bitter sweet relationship, you could say that. Not much I can say about it in my blog. We went into town on Friday (because it was suuuuch a beautiful day!!! :D) and talked and decided to profit from the time im still here. I'm not sure if he took it to mean what I wanted it to mean but this 'second time around' is a lot more... mellow. :/ En plus, he has a lot of work to do and it doesn't leave much time for me. Whatever.

Friday night I went out with Sandyah and her friends. Did some partying. I saw Killan but he got angry with me around 2 in the morning and went home. I got to Sandyha's house later in the morning on saturday (around 8) and got some quality 4 hours of sleep. Her boyfriend dropped me off in town around 1:30 and I met up with Killan just to talk and make sure things were still good between us. they are :)

My host family picked me up in town and brought me home around 2:30-3. Later that day my little 6 year old host brother, Charles, broke his arm while at 'scouts' and ... the poor thing. it was really a bad break too. Two places on his left arm. He went imediatelly to the hospital and they did surgery. Afterwards the doctor was talking to him and she asks: 'so how many brothers and sisters do you have?" He replied: Well I have one younger sister and one older one, and two brothers.

awwwwwwwwwwww!!!! :D x10 (!!)

He got to go home from the hospital that same night and now hes here with a big cast and can't go to school or play the drums or do anything fun, really. Hes ultra ultra sad about that but everyone tries to keep him ocupied with board games and such.

Saturday night Sandyah called me to see if I was going to the concert in Liege but my family said no. I was pretty upset at first, realizing the aspect that I've finally started getting the chance to get out and do things and now I don't have much time to do it all. (without craming two things into one weekend and that makes my family nervous) :( But then I found out that Killan wasn't going and I calmed down.

Sunday was calm. Adriana came over and we enjoyed the nice weather (friday, saturday and sunday were all REALLY nice days with temps in the 40?C (!!) I jumped in my baithing suit and even got a little bit of color! I'll post pictures later.

Monday was back to normal rainy Belgium. I made my presentation in Science Social class about Gay Marriage and then asked the teacher afterwards what she thought about my french. She said that I still have a lot to learn and that it isn't very good for being here 8 months. She thinks I'm not attentative enough and that Adriana's french is better.

... maybe I shouldn't have asked.
I'm not sure if what she said has since motivated me.. or depressed me.

:/

I'm going on Euro tour. Its official. I've already payed (finally) with only 2 weeks left before it happens, it was about time. I leave the 15th of June and get back the 29th. first bus! (the best! :p) loool

If I don't get my plane ticket changed then I will be going home the 2nd of July but I'm in the process of moving it to the 11th of August. I hope that works out, cuz I wanna stay here in Belgium (learn french better, profit from my time and from being young) My family will go on vacation around the middle of July so if I stay then I'll have to find a place but I think I'll ask the Piette family. They were so nice with me when I was there and that would defenitally improve my french! I miss my host mom Piette so much!!

"she believed in me when I stopped believing in myself"
Mood:  blue

"Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everythings ok and everythings going right"

not a very long lived story. thats all. back when I had tons and tons of things to say, I forgot half of them and my entries turned out rully short. Now I don't have anything to say so you can imagine the size this entry is going to be. humm koi d neuf? (thats right?) sure sure.

I asked mom if I could stay in Belgium longer (until the end July/beginning of August) ((even though the biggest reason for staying is ...no longer a reason...)) and she said yes in a round about way. As in, if I don't go on eurotour, then I can stay because that money can go towards changing my plane ticket date. As if it costs 375 Euros to change a plane ticket. I'm skeptical on that one. And I was "agressive" in the email I wrote her so now she is sad with me. :(

"Your letter was terse, and this one is terse in kind. Have you forgotten who has footed the bill for the time you've been there? Have you forgotten how much everyone here misses you? Do you care that your lilies are up? Or that gram turned 90 in December?"-mom

*learn something important- my mom is brutally honest

me: yeah, 'we broke up'
mom: he must have found a better offer.

... :)

**something else important- she was once like me:

Bunny dit :
I was like u when I was young.... I had so much love to give, and it felt sometimes like no one wanted it....
Bunny dit :
I wanted to love someone who would love me in kind
Bunny dit :
I wanted to MATTER to someone, be so important that nothing else compared
Bunny dit :
I wanted someone in my corner, who loved and appreciated me no matter what
Bunny dit :
someone who understood me like no one else could

boy do I know how that feels. :,(

so...its friday and my plans fell through for the weekend. I officially have nothing to do tonight or tomorrow. Sunday tho, for a change, I'm going to dinner with the PIETTE family. :)))

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ok so this entry isn't a very happy one. I have the right to that non? it is my blog...

Bunny dit :
I fell out of myself by trying to be everything I was expected to be for someone else....... I got lost. You go out there and become who you want to be. If someone else wants to join you on the ride, fine. If not, you'll make it on your own


"No matter where I go, I know where I came from"

OUFTE
Mood:  rushed
"OUFTE" that is all I have to say.

..no not true... I have too much to say, thats the problem. I'm so far behind myself that I don't know what to do. I have to stick to writing primarily in Engish because it takes too long to write everything twice (as you can see in my dernier deux entries) and infact, in the very last one that I wrote, I cut it extremely short because I had been working on that one entry for plusieur jours.

So now to begin where I left off. Friday, the 6th was the day that I went to School with Heike. Saturday morning I left Germany to head back to good 'ol Belgium. After dancing all night with Martin (both times that I was in Germany at the School parites) I never once spoke to him and as I was leaving Germany, at the train station, I figured, oh well, I guess I missed that chance. Then guess who took the same train as me to Cologne. YEAH! Martin! What a coincidence! We talked for a quick 10-15 minutes and then at the Cologne station, he walked me to where my second train would be and gave me his e-mail address. (!!)

Once on the second train headed to Liege, I was in a little room with 3 other people. It so funny that 3 people who know nothing about one another, who have nothing in common, could prove such great company! There was me who speaks french and english, A Woman from Germany who spoke english, french, and german, an American soldier who had been stationed in Germany for 2 years but was going home that week who spoke only English, and an arabic man who spoke only in Arabic and French. We all got along fine. Once in liege, 3 or so hours later, I showed the Arabic man around the center of liege a little bit and then scotted home. But before I went home, I stopped at a flower shop to buy some flowers for my host mom for mothers day.

o:)

Noticed that Womens' day is March 8th (same as my birthday! I know that is what everyone was thinking!) and Mothers day is May 8th? kwite the koincidence, non? so what is April 8th? :)

When I arrived home, no one was there and because I wasn't sure how long they would be gone, and since I couldn't find a vase for the flowers I stuck them in the fish bowl! yep! I know I know, good thinkin' tracy!

theeeeeeen there was the week, that wasn't so eventful. There were some things... like Adriana and her host family. And then the Rotary meeting where I took adriana with me and we drank too much wine... then coca blanc on top of that *rubs nose* <-- sign of drunkenness oufte that was tooo ofunny

During the weekend Adriana left for Paris. Ca va. It was oooook.

.... I <3 paris (!!)

Friday, Sandyah called me to invite me into town to party with her. Yes! I'm there! I met Killan who(after a long period of uncertainty I am now officialy dating ):)(I have an album dedicated to him, if you're interested in seeing photos) and so everyone stayed in town until 6 saturday morning.

No school on Monday, Adriana was still in Paris. I went into town with Killan but nothing was open so we just walked around ... a lot. It was fun tho :) Being with him is fun. :D

The tick tock of the clock is painful, all sain and logical... I wanna tear it off the wall
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: Trip to Germany
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, EVERYONE!!
BONNE FETE DES MERES!!

Before I talk about today, I have to finish telling my story about Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Tout d'abord, d'avant je commence dire les evenements d'aujourd' hui, je dois expliquer ce qu'il se passe sur jeudi, vendredi, et samedi.

Friday night at midnight, when the school party got over, Heike's dad was waiting outside for us, with Martin, to go to the Holiday house an hour or so away. We stayed there all of thursday because it was a religious holiday and no one had work or school. Another family came to visit for the day. We chilled at the house all day and I made some pages with Heike for her scrapbook. They came out sooo cute, I wish now that id gotten photos of them but I forgot. :(

Vendredi soir, apres la fete de l'ecole, le pere d'Heike nous conduira jusqu'a sa maison d'holiday ou on restera pour tout le journee de jeudi. Une autre famille sont allee pour voir la maison et ils sont rester la tout la journee jusque on a parti pour retourner chez heike. Heike et moi ont fait deux pages dans son scrapbook pendant la journee: un de ses photos de son premier homar et le deuxieme de GAPP. Ils sont trop mignon, maintenent je souhaite que j'ai pris un photo, mais j'oublie :(

Friday there was school (even for me, I think) and so I went with Heike to her highschool in Germany. It was a really easy day for her, she only had to stay there for 3 hours and I didn't have to wake up until 9. The first 2 classes were English and the second was a Science Social class (like what I have in Beligum, but never a class I've seen in America) I met some of the people I'd seen at the party and everyones nice to meeeeeee :D

Tout le monde a l'ecole vendredi (meme moi, je crois) alors je suis aller a l'ecole en Allmagne avec Heike pendant la journee. C'etait un jour tres facile pour elle, on a seulement 3 heures des classes et apres on est fini car ses deux cours au debut etaient libres. La premiere classe etait anglais pendant deux heurs et pris Science sociale. J'ai rencontree du personnes qui j'ai parlee avec a la fete et tout le monde est treeeeeeees gentille.

I had some kind of 're culture shock' when I went to Germany because the culture resembled more like America, where as Belgium is closer to the french culture. Heike's school isn't even a public school, its a school only for the upper bound students; all the same, it is a lot more relaxed than my Belgian school.

Au debut d'entree en Allemagne, il m'arrive un sorte d'echoc cultural, car la culture est forte similarie a la culture aux Etats-Unis, par contre la Belgique est plus prosh (pres ?)a la culture en France. L'ecole d'Heike n'est meme pas un ecole publique mais cest dix fois plus libre que l'ecole ou je vais en Belqigue.

When the teachers were making a speach for the class, not all the students were attentative, some talking with eachother and such. If I were to come directly from America to Germany, this wouldn't surprise me at all but after spending 8 months in Belgium, I was shocked that the teacher didn't do anything. In Heike's Science Social class a boy had a hat on all through class and the teacher never noticed. Thats not even allowed in America!

Les eleves n'etaient pas attentative pendant les paroles des profs mais si j'ai arrivee juste des Etats-Unis, ca me derangee pas parce que c'est le meme mais j'ai restee pendant 8 mois en Belgique alors je l'ai trouvee un peu bizzar. Pendant l'entier du cours de Science Sociale, un mec a porte un chapeau et ca n'est meme pas permettre aux Etats-Unis!

The americanized culture catches me off guard once in a while too. In Belgium, the people (my age) are very concerned with their grades and less on their looks and dating scene. (Or so I percieve it to be) but in Germany, the girls are much more aware (concious?) of their looks. I go there just looking like whatever and then see all these really pretty people and think... shit, I should have put in some effort. :p

Les Belges sont plus interessent en ses etudes que ses resemblances (ou, au moins, ca cest comment je le percieve pour les persons qui ont le meme age que moi.) Au contraire, les filles en Allemagne sont bcp plus 'aware' (je sais pas le mot en francais) et moi, j'y arrrivee avec n'importe quelle vetements et ect. et je vois plein des filles tres belles et je me dis: oh merde, j'avait du ajoute plus d'efforte!