School tomorrow...
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: In America
I'm so uninspired... so worried about what I'm going to become. I don't have any real life goals any more.

*go to college*

...


then what?


I used to want to be an architect until I realized that my math skills are 'nul' and I don't want the houses I create to fall over so I've more or less abandoned that idea. I'd like to be a translator but who am I kidding? My french is not acceptional... who needs french translators anyways? Euh... ok what does that leave? Well, I like to garden. Woah, hold up! Now there's a job in high demand! A lily hybridizer!!!


I feel like "John" from Billy Joel's Piano Man song:

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's some place that he'd rather be
He says, "Man, I believe this is killing me,"

There's some place that I'd rather be.

And it's on my mind all the time. Even when I'm not thinking about it, I'm thinking about ways to avoid thinking about it. For now all I'm doing is settling for what's there. No attachments, no commitments. Just nothing.


I'm in waiting.



And I'm hoping.  I'm hoping that whatever will make me whole is waiting for me in tomorrow... Or the day after that. That there even issomething that can make me feel whole. Complete me. Give me a purpose in life.

Dani is in deep shit!!
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: EUROTOUR
Hey my gorgous tracy!

Hows life back home hope your not missing rainy beligum as much as we miss you!! Love your website its awesome espeically since i've been trying to conntact you for ages because i'm in deep shit with my host mum!! You know how i packed way too much for euro tour well how could you forget!! Well the clothes i put in your bag were my host mums and now she really wants them back and is threatening to call rotary!! So if you could just get back to me asap I know i'm a stupid blonde sometimes ok most of the times!!
My email is danni_oz@hotmail.com
Love you and miss u unbelieveably,
all my love,
Dani

its you and me and all of the people; I dont know why, but I cant take my eyes off of you
Mood:  a-ok
I stayed at grams house last night; fell asleep around 10 and woke up to mom nudging me with the phone. I was so disoriented, I was sure I was back in Belgium and I answer the phone:
<< oui? ... oui? Je ne comprends rien!>> then i snap out of it and manage to say: <> It was dustin (cliffords little brother) who had called to make plans with me for tonight and while we were talking, cliff called dustin but hung up before he could get 3 way calling going. Sure enough, around 11, cliff called me but I was too tired to talk for awhile so he said he'd call back today (Hasnt yet, for the record)

Woke up this morning to blue skies! wow Quel bonheur! Rushed home to grab my digital camera to take photos. Some day I'll add them to my Last Album album (for my belgian friends :) )

When gram woke up we realized we were out of milk and mom ran me over to the store, Thompsons, to get more. While I was there, I met Jenna Caler, a friend of mine way back from elementary school who has been working there for a while. While we were talking, a girl, Kristen Ireland, came in, which really blew my mind because I havn't seen her in about 5 years!

Today around 1 in the afternoon I got a surprising call from Adriana!!!! QUEL BONHEUR!!! I answered the phone in my new favorite manor:

<>
...short pause... <> then for the next 15 minutes that we talked, it was all in french but she had to cut it short to go to tha airport to pick up Marcello (a b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. :) brasilian who was an exchange student in Belgium like us ( who I met on my trip to London)

later I made some tags with french words on them to bring next door for the neighbors kids and stayed with them for a while.

Thompsons (the only conveniance store in my "town") got a tanning bed! lol I thought my mom was joking with me when she suggested starting a monthly tanning session at Thompsons store. I had her repeat it a couple of times before I believed her: so just a little while ago I went to do that for a couple of minutes and I still feel kind of toasty ;)

aaaaaaaaand tonight I'm going to my friend Maxine's camp house that is right on a lake to chill tonight, maybe do some miiidnight swimmin ;) and thats about it.

oki thats all for now... the next entry will probably be this same thing only in french because I'm prety sure th eonly people still checking this are belgians and they don't all speak english like we do and + I don't want to lose my french (however bad it may be) ;p

-tracy

happytracyinbelgium typed this up at 12:14 AM MEST

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All I ask is that I be remembered... I hope that isn't too much
Mood:  blue
Topic: My Return Home
The last time I wrote was Monday but I think it was in the afternoon because I've forgotten to recount the evening with the Fayerson family:

Monday night I went to Adriana's FIRST families house to eat dinner. Mia is still camping or something so she wasn't there and Robin was meeting a friend at the airport and wouldn't be home until later in the evening. So it was Marie (maman Bronlet/Fayerson) Lila, and me. We waited a couple of minutes for Marie's "boyfriend" to come home from work to start eating. After dinner, I went with Lila to catch her rabits to put them inside for the night (wow what a task, you have to admire the dedication that girl has to do it every night) After about 20 minutes of "rabit hunting" our mission became a success! I stayed a little while later talking and around 10 Lila went with me and Marie to drop me off. It was such a plesant evening and I'm so happy I know that family. (They made this exchange year worth staying for!)

My last night in Belgium was spent alone in my host families house, talking online and packing my bags... nope, no parties for me :( Yeah that was kind of depressing...

At 8 in the morning on Wednesday the 13th, Stephan Dor and Aurelie (his daugher who had gone to america) came to the Hubert residence to pick me up. They stayed together with my host family for about 45 minutes, eating chocolate pastry bread and enjoying the last morning. Even though the previous 2 or 3 days had been nice enough even in the morning, the day of the 13 it was gray and foggy right from the beginning. It seems justified though; I don't think it would have been easier for me to leave a sunny happy country as it was for me to say good bye to normal Grey-Rainy-Day-Liege.

All my bags had been packed since the night before with some things left out to be sent home to me (like my plush animal Stitch and Mouton) but I was still a little worried about the weight of my check in luggage.

Once my bags were loaded into Stephan's car, I said my goodbyes to the Hubert family (who I only stayed with for my last week in Belgium) but it seemed a little sad "comme meme" :( The car ride to Brussels where the airport is located, is an hour flight and in no time at all, we were pulling up to the entrance. Aurelie grabbed a luggage cart, loaded my bags onto it, and manouvered it into the airport. Went to the ticket desk, yadah yadah yadah, got in line to get my check in luggage... uh... checked in. (for lack of better airport termonology) :p And they accepted both my bags without problems of weight or anything. *phew* That was a big relief. :D I said a quick goodbye to the Dor family and went past passport checks. I didn't have any problems getting to gate B40 with only minor quick stops along the way, 1: to get my passport checked again because I was entering an area where all flights were destined for America and they have, of coarse, tightened security and 2nd: to get my hand luggage searched, shoes taken off, etc etc etc... They had me turn on all of my electronics I guess to make sure they were't bombs, then almost opened my box of italian glass for Lori but I persuaided them not to, and finally to finish, they patted me down because I was wearing baggy clothes and they thought that was suspicious. Besides that, the trip went really easily. I didn't once get lost, and there were no hassles about the forms I had to fill out or my credibility.

Computer crashed
Mood:  lyrical
Humm I've been offline for a while because the computer at my host families house wasn't working so voila, now I am at work using the laptop. When was the last time I wrote... euh...evidently it was the 7th. I guess that wasn't so long ago:p ; 4 days can seem like an eternity.

In my last entry I didn't mention my Rotary Presentation very much, but I reassure you all, it went well and without 'gros' problems. It only lasted 5 minutes or so but it didn't look bad because Justine Piette (my ex- host sister) was there and she made a short speech also and after the both of us had presented, Aurelie Dor (the daughter of my first host family who was in Pennsylvania while I was at her house) made a speech about her year in America. Accompaning us at our 'kids table' was Ludavic (ok I know that isn't the correct spelling but I gave it my best shot oki?!) the son of my host family, making him forcement, my host brother; and his friend (both who were exchange students at one point or another)

and yes Aurelie is back now and we've met on a couple of different occasions. She seems really nice to my face...like everyone here. But Adri has told me that when the Dor family came to a barbecue at the Duchesne house they didn't stop talking down on me (and frankly that doesn't surprise me after hearing the stories about Noemie...)

have I mentioned the stories about Noemie? oki well back when Adriana was still in Belgium, every time Noemie talked to her, she was completely obsessed with me. 'I know tracy doesn't like me, if she says something bad about me then you can tell me'; 'I know tracy says bad stuff about me all the time'; 'You know when tracy was at my house she was always angry and she hates my family'; 'Well you know... tracy, she ... doesn't like her dad... CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!'; 'Does tracy have a boyfriend in Belgium?'; 'Can I see a picture of him?'; 'Oh he isn't cute... I mean, do you think he's cute??? he really isnt cute!'

** 20 minutes later**

... 'and tracy bla bla bla.... '

Then once Pierre invited adriana to a movie with him and Noemie (back when there were still dating) and again Noemie talked the ENTIRE time about me. Adriana called me after the movie and said 'COME QUICKLY HERE TO SAVE ME!! THIS GIRL IS GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!' and even after I got there, Noemie took Adriana aside and kept talking about me... how old is this girl!? baf!

... yeah, so that is the Noemie story. Now where was I? oki so On Friday I went into town with Robin which was the first time he's been into liege since he got back, he said he felt like a tourist, lol. I ran a few arrends in town then we went for a drink in the carre at La Cour St. Jean before I had to catch my bus back into Herstal to where my host family works. Woooow it really sucks that I'm leaving at just the same time that he's getting back cuz hes a really fun person to be around and I have such a good time when I'm with him! damn...

Saturday I went into town again to look at book prices and such (might as well buy now while french books are common because I have an idea I'm going to have a hard time finding a lot of french literature back in good 'ol maine. :( Puis, I walked all the way to Killans house to say bye ... euh we kinda had a falling out the other day, then my computer stopped working and I don't have any money left on my cellphone; but I was right there in town so I decided to stop up to say a last goodbye and... he wasn't there. ouf. merde. so chances are I will not see him again... I hate not saying goodbyes ... I need that closure :/

By the time I got back into town it was time for me to pick my bus and... oops, wheres my bus? come to find out the next one was scheduled to come in 40 minutes and I didn't have any money left on my gsm to call my host family. I was kinda bummed/ stressed about that and as I was looking for someone who had their cellphone with them or a telephone booth, when I see two black guys probably in their early 20ies walk past then stop really quickly, turn around and come up to me:

in french: "hello madmoiselle, would it disturb you if I talked to you?" all polite like
me: thinking: 'Great, what now?' "yeah sure, what do you want?
guy: "I think you're really beautiful", "bla bla bla"
me: still distracted trying to find a telephone booth -- I cut him off half way through his sentance "Ok look, do either of you have a cell phone?"
guy: "uh... non"
me: "ok well I'm really busy, I need to find a phone, so I'm just going to go, ok?"
guy: "non non non, madmoiselle..."

summary: the guy finds me a phone booth really quickly + pays for my phone call then asks really politely that I could take his cell phone number and call him some time, that would make him really happy. Ok thanks, bye! lol :p


And euh... I think thats about it. Still packing my bags, weighing them and unpacking... today or tomorrow I have to go into town to compare chocolate prices :p

ahhhh la vie, elle est dure hein!?