School tomorrow...
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: In America
I'm so uninspired... so worried about what I'm going to become. I don't have any real life goals any more.

*go to college*

...


then what?


I used to want to be an architect until I realized that my math skills are 'nul' and I don't want the houses I create to fall over so I've more or less abandoned that idea. I'd like to be a translator but who am I kidding? My french is not acceptional... who needs french translators anyways? Euh... ok what does that leave? Well, I like to garden. Woah, hold up! Now there's a job in high demand! A lily hybridizer!!!


I feel like "John" from Billy Joel's Piano Man song:

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's some place that he'd rather be
He says, "Man, I believe this is killing me,"

There's some place that I'd rather be.

And it's on my mind all the time. Even when I'm not thinking about it, I'm thinking about ways to avoid thinking about it. For now all I'm doing is settling for what's there. No attachments, no commitments. Just nothing.


I'm in waiting.



And I'm hoping.  I'm hoping that whatever will make me whole is waiting for me in tomorrow... Or the day after that. That there even issomething that can make me feel whole. Complete me. Give me a purpose in life.